A literal thought out loud

For the next few days I will be sharing some very personal writing. To be transparent. The only way I know how to truly express myself is through writing. Especially through poetry. It helps me “get it all out” when my emotions don’t know what’s up from down. It’s unfortunate that I’m able to write like this only when my emotions are nothing close to being happy. But nonetheless the solemn words that pour though me help to shed light on my situation. Here’s the first of a few…enjoy?

——————————

I stare at this pen and paper in front of me

Wondering where to start, trying to remember to breathe

I start writing the words slowly

Until the words overwhelm me and confusion consumes me

I don’t know the answer, but I do know the fear

And wonder how I got here.

It’s all a blur and my head begins to spin

I put my pen down, take a step back

Again ask myself “how the hell did I get where I’m at?”

The relentless monologue in my head is tormenting me again…

You could do this and you could do that

Worried you’ll end up right back where you’re at

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